[She knew he would say that. She's glad he did, in a way; she's glad she was reminded of exactly what she had to do. That solid affirmation that it was okay for her to do what she needed to do for everyone else -- or more accurately, that solid affirmation that she absolutely couldn't throw everyone away for his sake. The thought didn't touch down in her mind for even a second, but it'd already successfully taken root at the very bottom of her heart, in those darkest most humid places. Like a mushroom. She could think of this intrusive thought as a fungus that needed to be uprooted.
She had to be rid of it. It was never an option. He doesn't want it. She doesn't want it. All of these people are her family now. It isn't just Seto. They have to go ride the roller coaster together again. They have to eat dinner together again. There are just too many things left undone and unsaid to just give up on all of them. Kozakura Mary will never become that monstrous. All of them have to come home safely.
But what if one of them doesn't?]
S-Sorry... I'm -- sorry, Seto...
[She's trembling still when she rights herself to look at his face. Eyes unfocused and blurry with tears, she couldn't see the face the green-brown blur beneath her made.
She doesn't want to hurt him. Her vision's improved by the time she tears her eyes away from his face to look at the wheel (a nasty, tearful glare if there's ever been one), but she can't bring herself to move any closer to it. She doesn't want to touch it.]
no subject
[She knew he would say that. She's glad he did, in a way; she's glad she was reminded of exactly what she had to do. That solid affirmation that it was okay for her to do what she needed to do for everyone else -- or more accurately, that solid affirmation that she absolutely couldn't throw everyone away for his sake. The thought didn't touch down in her mind for even a second, but it'd already successfully taken root at the very bottom of her heart, in those darkest most humid places. Like a mushroom. She could think of this intrusive thought as a fungus that needed to be uprooted.
She had to be rid of it. It was never an option. He doesn't want it. She doesn't want it. All of these people are her family now. It isn't just Seto. They have to go ride the roller coaster together again. They have to eat dinner together again. There are just too many things left undone and unsaid to just give up on all of them. Kozakura Mary will never become that monstrous. All of them have to come home safely.
But what if one of them doesn't?]
S-Sorry... I'm -- sorry, Seto...
[She's trembling still when she rights herself to look at his face. Eyes unfocused and blurry with tears, she couldn't see the face the green-brown blur beneath her made.
She doesn't want to hurt him. Her vision's improved by the time she tears her eyes away from his face to look at the wheel (a nasty, tearful glare if there's ever been one), but she can't bring herself to move any closer to it. She doesn't want to touch it.]